The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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