so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
