spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
