May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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