is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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