He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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