in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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