I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
