Whod you bang
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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