If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
