I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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