i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
