i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
