its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
