I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my shit smells like andre
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Randomize
