Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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