mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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