the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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