It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
