Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
