I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
