piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
