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hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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