Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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