You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
