id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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