ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
