1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
