Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
