I want to stick my p in your. b.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
