his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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