I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
