She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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