Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
