IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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