you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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