as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
