Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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