If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
