sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
