I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I didn't shave. On purpose
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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