no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
