im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
do nipples grow back?
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