wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
where does the pee come out of this thing
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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