You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
