Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
