apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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