You're so nebulous sometimes
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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