This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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