I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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