Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
